After having dealt with Intelligent Design for nearly 3 years, read thousands of articles, been to presentations, debated, and more, I have finally discovered the formula for putting together a push for intelligent design that people will buy. Let me know if I left anything important out. This is mostly inspired by a talk from Dembski I had the displeasure of attending about 2 months ago.
Steps to making a pro-ID argument:
1. Define Evolution:
2.Define Intelligent Design:
- Remind everyone first off, that what you're talking about is a "theory".
- Use a ridiculous strawman argument of what evolution is.
- Use clever analogies that leave out the most important parts of evolutionary theory (hint: The tornado in a junkyard is especially fun).
- Remember to insist that evolution is mostly about how life arose dispite the fact that Darwin's book is entitled the "Origin of Species".
- Use quotes from scientists (preferably out of context) to demonstrate that evolution is fatally flawed. Out of context quotes from Darwin showing he didn't believe his own theory are especially good.
- Point out hoaxes like the Piltdown man, but don't mention that it was scientists that discovered them and not ID supporters.
- Pretend there's no transitional fossils and repeat that several times.
- Make sure to bring up the Cambrian Explosion and act like it was a week even though it was hundreds of thousands of years. Additionally, imply that it was suddenly like the world was suddenly full of bunny rabbits, kittens and kestrels, rather than tiny worm-like creatures with a rudimentary skeletal structure. Hell, if you even want to say this outright, feel free. Remember, honesty is optional.
- Assert authoritatively that evolution cannot increase the information present in the genome. Whatever happens, do not allow yourself to get pinned down into specifying how to objectively measure this information.
- Use words that anyone can understand, like "common sense", because common sense tells us lots of important things, like the earth is flat. But don't use that example...
3. Discuss evolution vs. ID as philosophy systems
- Remember to as vague as possible. Do not mention what ID actually says about common descent or age of the earth so that fundamentalists won't get offended and will continue giving you funding. Additionally, not adequately explaining yourself will give you the ability to dismiss critics later by insisting that they just don't understand Intelligent Design.
- Insist that it's not creationism because it doesn't explicitly name God.
- Always call it a "theory". People won't know the difference between a scientific theory and a layman's terms one.
- Bring up "irreducible complexity". Remind them of your earlier analogy and then explain things like the flagellum and blood clotting.
- Remind everyone of the "Dissent from Darwinism" list which is growing so wonderfully rapidly! But don't you dare mention any of the lists in opposition.
4. Blame everything that's wrong with the world on Evilution.
- Start using terms like "Evolutionist" and "Darwinist".
- Give quotes by famous atheist scientists about how easy it is to be an atheist thanks to evolution (ie, Dawkins).
- Explain that this proves evolution is atheistic.
- Give quotes by famous religious scientists about how easy it is to have faith thanks to science (ie, Einstien).
- Explain that this proves not all science is anti-religious (although anything you don't approve of is) so ID must be OK with God.
5. Remind everyone how much better things will be when ID takes over:
- Gay marriage is the fault of Darwinists.
- So is abortion.
- The Holocaust.
- And taking government sponsored prayer out of school.
- And murders.
- Let's not forget drugs.
- And tooth decay.
6. Tell everyone to buy your book:
- Because crime rates will go down.
- And there will be no more abortion.
- Or homosexuality.
- Or tooth decay.
- Or Holocausts.
- And everyone will be able to pray in school.
- And everyone will want to be Christian!
- Only $29.95.
- Contains lots of full color diagrams.