Friday, November 20, 2009

New Moon

So I somehow got talked into going to see the new Twilight movie, "New Moon" last night. As I've mentioned before, I like midnight showings. Like many other big events, there's an energy to them that just makes them more exciting. Usually, it's hard to really find a good term to describe that energy. But last night it was easy: Estrogen.

Jeebus there was a lot of it. I expected that there would be a lot of teenage girls there, but the ratio was way steeper than I expected. I'm pretty sure it was close to a 40:1 ratio. Whenever Edward or Jacob came on screen it was a screaming and swooning reminiscent of the legends I hear about the Beatles.

And the director (or writers in some cases I suppose) milked it. "Oh, Bella. You hit your head on a rock? Let me take my shirt off to dab at it for a few seconds and not bother to compress it at all."


"I'm Edward and I'm so emo that I'm going to go all Romeo by exposing myself to the public as a sparkly freak by slowly stripping as I walk down a hall into the sunlight while wearing my 'sensitive' face.... in slow motion."

I watch anime. I'm used to fan service. But damn was this over the top.

I still can't fathom why people like this series. I haven't read the book, but everything in the plot is cliche++.

"I love you and I'm afraid I'm going to hurt you so I'm going to push you away." x2

"I'm going to do it by telling you I don't love you anymore and you're stupid enough to fall for it."

"I'm going to watch the end of Romeo & Juliet right at the beginning and then try to pull a Romeo."

And let's not forget the plot holes where Bella is brought before the Vampire high council and none of their powers work on her (like Edwards don't). So the conclusion is supposedly drawn that Bella is immune to all vampires.... except that Jasper's (I only remember his name because there's a character in 101 Dalmatians with the same name) powers work on her....

Really, this movie has nothing to offer that hasn't been done better elsewhere.

But at least this movie wasn't as bad as the first one.

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