Monday, August 21, 2006

Kabbalah Can-Can-Can!

A few years back, Kabbalah, like Scientology, recieved a large surge of popularity due to the support of a few well known celebreties. In particular, Madonna has been an outspoken supporter of Kabbalah. Recently, she and her husband have began petitioning the Brittish government about some Kabbalah holy water that will supposedly clean up nuclear waste.

"I mean, one of the biggest problems that exists right now in the world is nuclear waste," Madonna told reporters a few years ago.

Funny. I always thought that things like global hunger, genocide, and the like were a bit more pressing... Better call Angelina Jolie and tell her she's been wasting her time.

So where did this break through come from? It seems that it's from Oroz; a "23rd-century" research organization that's believed to be sponsored by the Kabbalah Centre. Three years ago it claimed to have developed the magical liquid and shown that it decontaminated a lake near Cherynobyl.

I suppose next I'll take Big Tobacco's word that their "research" is high quality.

Oh, and did we mention that it can also "treat gynaecological problems in cows and sheep"?

4 comments:

Thomas Siefert said...

I say, let them demonstrate the holy water for all the world to see and then let them explain why it doesn't work.

Hiatas said...

Dude, of course the world's biggest problem is nuclear waste. I mean, since the moon wasn't blown out of orbit on September 13, 1999 by a massive detonation at a lunar nuclear waste dump, it means all the nuclear waste must still be down here!

I can't vouch for the Kabbalah water (although I hear it's Judae-licious), but I understand a crack team of scientist marionettes has been working on the problem for a few years now and could be close to a solution - provided those pesky alien invaders let up long enough for the research to be completed.

Anonymous said...

A couple years ago Katherine Harris in Florida got in a bind when she endorsed a Kaballah water group's claim that it could treat some sort of citrus fruit tree fungus or disease.

Anonymous said...

A couple years ago Katherine Harris in Florida got in a bind when she endorsed a Kaballah water group's claim that it could treat some sort of citrus fruit tree fungus or disease.