Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Windows - The Christian OS

In my last post, I pointed out that the Church of England seemed to be having some trouble with Norton's anti-virus. Stephen responded saying that they could always use another OS which didn't have as many worries about viruses. However, It appears that the only true OS for a good Christian is Windows:
It is now clear that the one true operating system that every good Christian should use is Microsoft's Windows operating system. It was sent from God to help protect us from the vile operating systems from Satan, like Apple. How is it so clear? I think the evidence speaks for itself.

Apple - Garden of Eden.
- We are being tempted by this tool of the devil much like Adam and Eve were.

Windows > Mac
- Windows is much more common than Mac.
- It also is divinely inspired. Therefore, it is okay to have a Windows Operating System.

Other things that need to be addressed...

- Linux is not real! It is simply Jewish mythology. (Lilith, for those of you who don't get it.)

- Other operating systems are the tools of heathens to try to stray good Christians from the path of righteousness. Do not be tempted by their flashy statements of "it's what all the cool nerds use". They are simply trying to sway your faith.

- Open source leads to changes that allow Satan into your faith. It is a slippery slope! Avoid it at all costs!
(Created by Reinharted of the gaiaonline forums)

I just wonder where the new Ubuntu: Christian Edition falls.

15 comments:

Jason said...

Sorry, but was that supposed to be humorous?

truth machine said...

Um, you seem to have missed that OSX has Darwin at its core.

Jon Voisey said...

Sorry, but was that supposed to be humorous?

Yes. Not everything I post is meant to be taken seriously.

bigdumbchimp said...

Jason can't handle anyone who might say something he deems anti-christian. It get's his panties in a bunch. So much that he's blinded himself from any sort of humor. I bet he's a riot at parties.

Jon Voisey said...

That's sad. I suppose it's only to be expected given that God didn't say it's ok to have a sense of humor.

Robert said...

Well over exaggerated christiona sensibilities aside I found it hiliarious!

Anonymous said...

Surely computers are worldly goods. To be a christian you have to give your worldly goods away. So why would a christian even need an OS?

Jon Voisey said...

The better to spread the word of Christ with of course.

Spam bots are thousands of times more effective than pamphlets.

Stephen said...

OK, so Christians are supposed to be giving. And it is clearly easier to give, say, Linux than Windows. But Christians are supposed to give until it hurts. That clearly favors Windows.

As long as we're going for humor.

Anonymous said...

"it's what all the cool nerds use".

Never thought i'd hear those words in the same sentence.

Pete said...

Well, of course Mac OS is satanic: the Devil always gets the best iTunes!

Erm, that doesn't really work, does it? Oh well...

As an evil Apple-fan, I am proud (nay, full of hubris) that I have led lots of people astray - suddenly all my friends are buying Macs! BWAAA-HA-HAHAHAHA!

Michael Handy said...

To nitpick, isnt the Vatican a different denomination to the Church of England.
Other than that, you do have to have a lot of faith in Windows to use it.

Anonymous said...

Boy am I surprised. Hello, I'm Reinharted, and I'm quoted...
"Hi Rei".

Anyway, glad to know I finally broke out of the Gaia Box with my satirical posting...occaisional ones anyway.

If you don't believe me, I'll PM you...or...you PM me...er...probably best that way because I don't know your screen name there. :P

Robert said...

Well over exaggerated christiona sensibilities aside I found it hiliarious!

truth machine said...

Um, you seem to have missed that OSX has Darwin at its core.